“Well, it’s not every day you get to put a piece of your Mom’s finger in a ziplock bag…”

^ That would be my facebook status this evening.
The best response by far:
“Oh my goodness, you’re right. I reserve putting a piece of my mom’s fingers strictly to Wednesdays. I respect your boldness. …on a Monday, wow what a rebel.”

I LOVE HER. I almost peed my pants from laughing.

Oh yeah, and I guess I should explain WHY that was my status….
It’s possible that my mom sliced off her fingernail earlier this evening while cutting some cheese for her broccoli-cheese soup.
Actually, that is definitely what happened.
So naturally, after gauze-ing her finger and telling her to hold it over her head, I scooped up the detached bit from the cutting board and put it in a Ziplock just in case they needed it at the hospital or something….
They didn’t.
But whatever.

My Mom is all good now! And making lots of fun jokes about getting a 10% discount on her next manicure, the doctor telling her to keep her middle finger elevated, and how at least she didn’t lose her whole finger like Frodo.
After hearing that last joke, my brother suggested we name the knife responsible for the damage “Gollum”.

My Dad also chimed in by saying it’s great that she loves us to much, she likes to put a piece of herself into every family meal.

It’s okay if you’re jealous that my family is more hilarious than yours 🙂

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The Headless Donkey Pinata

When I was in elementary school, somewhere in the age range of 8-11, there was a party in my class.

But it wasn’t just any party.

We had a pinata.

It was a rainbow donkey.

 

From what I can remember, this is an EXACT replica of the one from elementary school.

 

The moment I saw it, I was smitten. Look at those colors! It’s so beautiful!! I was so in love with that slightly ugly and strange looking pinata.

But you better believe we beat that thing to death trying to get the candy out of it. And when it finally broke, it was the COOLEST THING EVER…..because the head detached from the body! A clean break between the neck and the torso. The head was left swinging from the ceiling. It was so neat.

Some random kid was like “COOL! I want to keep the head!!” and me, being the weird kid that I was, had already been thinking “Dang! That’d be so cool to keep that pinata head! It’s so gorgeous!” So when that other kid wanted the head….I said “Aw man, but I wanted to keep that!” (or something like that but more annoying, along with being weird I was also annoying).

Anyway, the point is somehow we worked out an agreement where I got to take home the body of said pinata. I was actually more excited about this in the end, because the body was the prettiest part with all of the rainbow colors, even if it did look kind of weird without a head.

 

So home I went, with a handful of candy and toting a headless donkey pinata. I was on top of the WORLD.

 

My mother was not so thrilled with my new acquisition. And looking back, I can see why.

A headless donkey pinata is really a useless piece of trash….and it looks freaky:

Picture this with mangled legs and the bow/tail hanging by a thread.

Mom kept trying to get me to throw it away…but I was not about to give up my most prized possession in the world. I got this pinata fair and square, and the colors were so pretty, and I’m sure I could find a use for it! So what if it’s unconventional-looking?!

I think I attempted to store crayons in it, but it was too difficult to get them out when I needed them. I then resorted to using it as a Barbie Doll vehicle….because no Barbie dreamhouse is complete without a headless pinata-mobile!

 

After a while the pinata started to fall apart and wasn’t even good for a Barbie-mobile anymore. So I threw it away.

Secretly, I thought it was totally creepy just like my Mom did.

But don’t tell her that.

😉