Disconnecting.

Ever since I opened my first Xanga account in 2004, I have been hooked on social networking. I love it. It definitely has its’ benefits….but there are also many downsides. We’ve all heard about them, no need to re-hash that here.

Recently, I have found myself attached to my Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/Pinterest accounts a little more than I am comfortable to admit. Instead of enjoying precious time with my daughter, I catch myself pulling out my iPhone so I can get a sweet shot to ‘gram. I immediately begin composing tweets in my head to describe my days’ events, rather than enjoying the moments I have. I’m constantly obsessing over what people think of my online presence and how I present myself across all of my networking platforms. And you know what? It’s exhausting enough to worry about my face-to-face interactions these days.

What also scares me, is that I’ve noticed I use social networking as a kind of ‘release’. Checking Instagram is my drug. Anytime I need to chillax, I load up my feed and throw out some likes and comments. When I wake up in the morning and feel anxiety flood the room while remembering the tasks that lie before me [you all know the feeling, when you’re drowning before breakfast], I grab my phone and go through my Insta/FB/Twitter/Pinterest loop a few times until I’m ready to face the day.

It is absolutely ridiculous.

So I have decided to quit cold turkey.

On Monday morning, July 1st], I will be deleting all of my social networking accounts [except for my blogs].

I have tried limiting the time I spend online many times before, and I’m usually successful for a while. But somehow or another, I always end up back in my internet-immersed state. During the times when I limit my online social interactions, I am infinitely happier….and that is where I would like to stay. Hence the decision to cut all social networking platforms [aside from blogging] out of my life.

So, if you’ve been sent here from another one of my social networking platforms, don’t despair! I will not be falling off the face of the Earth – I’ll merely just be accessible in different ways. I have a cellular telephone that I am quite proficient with – it can make and receive voice calls, video calls, text messages, Β AND Emails! I also have a mailbox right outside of my front door, and a very kind and quirky little mailman who fills it up for me every day πŸ˜‰

I am hoping that since I will not be busy procuring the sometimes superficial connections we maintain with one another online, I will have the presence of mind to actually keep in touch with you personally. But I will probably forget your birthday because Facebook is not there to remind me of them…Please forgive me in advance for that.
I hope that if you would like to know how I am doing, you would feel as comfortable calling/texting/emailing me as you would stalking my Facebook Timeline or Twitter or Instagram. If you wouldn’t…well. Think about that for a minute. Anything I might have mentioned online is something I would be more than willing to share in person with any of my online friends.

If you need my contact information, hit me up yo! Leave a comment [using your email address in the handy little WordPress comment form], then I will be able to see your email [but it won’t be published for the public to see], and I can send you my digits and other such useful information. Oh and maybe you should tell me your birthday in that comment too…you know. In case you want congratulatory songs and such πŸ˜‰

I am actually terribly excited for this change in my life. Sometimes I sort of feel like I’m a 63-year-old-lady in an almost-23-year-old’s body….so the idea of restoring my interpersonal relationships to [mostly] offline ones is kind of thrilling and kind of a relief. I don’t know that I can adequately explain it. But it’s a wonderful feeling.

Love, Rach

PS – my birthday is coming up! July 18th! I’m telling you because I know you all wanted to know so badly and were about to stalk me on Facebook before I deleted it so you could fill in your little calendars and remember to wish me a happy day πŸ˜‰ I freaking love birthdays.

PPS – I opted for brutal honesty about my issues here, rather than a vague explanation that mostly covers my bases. It may be kind of uncomfortable, but hey. That’s okay. Good conversations can make you cringe sometimes. I am human and I have my flaws just like everyone else.

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25 thoughts on “Disconnecting.

    • Beth, I had a friend who did this same thing last year, and that’s totally what motivated me to do it! It just took me a whole year of thinking about it first, haha. We totally have to partay for your birthday!! Maybe I’ll bake some cookies that actually look nice along with tasting good! πŸ˜‰

  1. I love this idea! I’m not brave enough to follow through with it, but I wish I could. I’m also not a parent though, so once I am this might all change for me. I do the same thing when I want to “relax” and spend far longer checking up on people than I should. I told a girl in my class that I’m jealous of her for not having a Facebook account.

    I would love to stay in touch though! If you want to email me your email address and/or cell phone, I’ll happily write/text you. πŸ™‚ Also, thanks for the invite to your other blog. I left a few comments but I don’t think I thanked you. πŸ™‚

    And, my birthday is March 30th. I just turned 28 and I feel old (but apparently look like I’m 20). πŸ™‚

    -Amber
    xmydearambellina.com

    • Thanks, Amber!!
      I’ve been jealous of my friends who go without Facebook too – ridiculous huh? Because you’d think it’d just be easy to up and delete your own and be just like them…but it’s sooo not. Haha. I did just make the actual decision to delete all this stuff less than 24 hours ago, but I’ve been pondering the possibility for well over a year. Last night was the first time I didn’t have a “NOOOO I could NEVER do that!” type of response when the idea came into my head, so I’m running with it!
      Thank you so much for your comments on the other blog! I have been so bad at keeping up with you – I’m sorry!! I’m just starting to feel “normal” again since my daughter came along, I’ve finally been able to shower every day and get the dishes done! I’ll definitely send an email your way πŸ™‚

      Happy belated birthday!!! You definitely don’t look 28 at all!! So awesome. Hopefully that trend continues, right?? πŸ˜€

      • I don’t think I could ever delete my Facebook because I use it to keep in touch with various family members and friends (like close family friends living in Ireland). After reading this though, I did delete my Instagram account, and unfollowed a lot of people on Twitter. So that is a step for me!!!

        Psh, don’t apologize! You have far more important things going on, like sweet babies. πŸ™‚

        My Mom is 49 and looks young so I hope it does continue! She’s gorgeous, and her mom (my Gma who died in April 2012) was only 65 but whenever I’d tell someone that she was my Gma, they wouldn’t believe me because she looked so young. My Dad’s mom was another story though.

      • Wow, that is awesome!!! Way to go! πŸ™‚

        I did see the picture of you an your Mom that you posted not too long ago – she definitely doesn’t look her age! She is gorgeous, and you look like her! πŸ™‚ great genes!!

        My Mom is turning 45 this year, but definitely doesn’t look it either. People always think she’s my sister, which delights her to no end, and is rather impressive seeing as she’s had six children! I’m hoping I take after her someday…so far people generally tend to think I’m older than I really am. Haha!

  2. Email me, Rach. I have a few things I’d love to send you. Baby D isn’t quite big enough for them, but they’re really cute and I want to send them to you.

  3. I’m proud of you Rach! I got rid of my Facebook for the same reason. I went on a fast for social media for awhile (at the same time I deleted my Facebook too) and it was great. I have found time to read, write and talk to friends and family, and do things with my family. I will miss our random tweeter conversations. July 18 is my little boys birthday too! Awesome. Mine is May 26. You’ve got my email so shoot me your cellphone-telephone number and we can text.

    • You’re definitely my inspiration, Hannah! πŸ™‚ And happy almost-first-birthday to Freddie! I can’t believe it’s been a year already πŸ™‚

  4. Hey Rach. I think its a great idea. I will probably be in that place someday. lol. Oh BTW my birthday was yesterday xD! 6/29

    • Ahhh HAPPY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY!!! See, I’m still not very good with birthdays even WITH Facebook. Haha πŸ™‚ And I never sent back your RSVP card! I totally meant to, and just remembered that I didn’t!! I am so sad I can’t make it to your wedding – but I am SO HAPPY you’re finally getting married! Hooray!!! πŸ˜€

      • haha its ok I suck at birthdays too! Sad to see you leave facebook and crap but thats what it really is is crap. haha. You should email me your # so i can random text you! lol especially when I get all nostalgic and think about Drama club haha

  5. What a brave woman!I try to stay away from FB sometimes but it never works because that’s where I connect with fam in AZ. Need to see if I can sign up for email notifications for your blog to make sure I read. Not great at blogging. 😦

    • Keli, keeping in touch with you was one thing that made me seriously reconsider deleting my twitter!! I am excited that you are doing your summer photo project again, though πŸ™‚ I’m still trying to figure out a way to set up email notifications for the private/family blog – it’s been difficult so far because there isn’t a ‘feed’ since it’s all private, and all of the email subscription services I’ve found require a feed. I’ll let you know as soon as I get that figured out! Or I could just email you posts when I put them up πŸ˜‰

  6. Definitely- I want to stay connected with you! From someone who very easily feels like she alienated herself from half her FB community with a two sentence comment she left on someone’s wall that was very much so taken horribly wrong- beleive me, I get the FB overload (and other feed) over load. I’m still way too addicted to them to fully give them up- I like seeing my friends wedding invites etc, or my three year old nieces dance video uploads. But, there’s more than one way to check up on family and friends. Anyways- I realized I don’t have your contact info, and I still haven’t made my way out to Cali to visit. If James and I do- I’d love to be able to let you know so we can visit! (P.S.- directed here from instagram. I’m a Instagram lover.) πŸ™‚

    • Leilani!! Oh my goodness I loathe miscommunications via Facebook. Those are the worst!! Ahhh I’m cringing for you 😦 I’ll email you my contact info! I would love to see you and James if you ever make your way down the coast πŸ™‚

  7. I can totally relate to this. A few months ago I recognized how much unproductive time I spent on the computer and so now I limit myself to FB on Tues and Thurs only. I am much happier with the balance in my life and I feel like I am actually living it much more. I love your honesty and I wish we still lived closer and here’s to living life in the game and not on the sidelines

    • That is amazing, Marissa! Way to go!! I find myself wishing we still lived close to you as well – once a week at the very least. You are so awesome!! One of these days we’ll make it back to LA to visit πŸ™‚

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