Early Twenties: Part Deux

this is to elaborate a little on the train of thought I somewhat began in this post [PART I]

I recently discovered a blog post that perfectly illustrates the selfish, never-grow-up mentality that I’ve seen running rampant in my generation. “23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before 23”.

Plenty of people have already responded to this in a myriad of different ways. I’m not upset at the author for writing her feelings on the subject, what is the Internet if not a place to speak freely (and make people angry while doing it)??

All I want to say is this:
I was engaged and married at the age of 21. I certainly don’t feel trapped by my marriage and family. My husband is awesome and my absolute favorite person to hang out with, and my daughter is a joy. I’d even go so far as to say that “getting knocked up and fat” was one of the most meaningful, worthwhile things I have ever, ever done.
But then again, “be selfish” has never been an item for me to check off of any to-do list I’ve ever written (and I’m a big list-writer.)

I guess my parents did a pretty good job passing their “outdated values” on to this “millennial child”. I am certainly glad they did – I can’t imagine a happier or more fulfilling life for myself.

If I’d held marriage views similar to the author, though, I’m sure that wouldn’t be the case. Marriage isn’t for people who feel that way. It would be miserable. You’ve gotta be ready for it (well as ready as you can be), and you’ve gotta want it.

…wellllp, that’s all I’ve got for today. Goodnight, friends šŸ™‚

love, rach

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7 thoughts on “Early Twenties: Part Deux

  1. I read it and couldn’t help but laugh… I got engaged at 21 got married at 23. But some of the things she said I couldn’t help but laugh at. Marriage isnt for everyone, and yes some people do it because they NEED someone their for them. But the rest of us just want that connection.. Why wait 2 or 5 years when the time is right now? Many of her things you should do instead of getting married I can do while Im married. Just because I have a new last name and have a husband doesnt mean I dont have my own identity. I can go out, see friends, enjoy “me time”..20 out of the 23 thing she said you should do I would still be able to do while I am married. Its about marrying the right person and not rushing it because you think you will fit in better. That is what should be said. And I agree “kids shouldn’t raise kids” however.. not all “kids” have the need to act like a kid such as partying all the time or being promiscuous.. sometimes we are just more mature and more capable then people give us credit for…(Some not all). And that is my opinion lol

    • Haha exactly!! I mean, why couldn’t I find my “thing” or get a passport or adopt a pet now that I’m married? Actually, I already have a passport…And didn’t you just get a new tattoo for Christmas?? Being married definitely doesn’t stop you from being yourself or having fun. And if it does, that marriage needs some counseling šŸ˜› it’s just frustrating that marriage is viewed as this horrible “ball and chain” or death sentence to be avoided. It’s not like promiscuity is all that glamorous anyway…I’m pretty sure you get way more action when you’re married and have a committed partner, instead of having to find a new one all the time. It just makes logical sense haha.

      And I agree too – kids deserve parents who will be responsible and adequately care for them. Whatever age they’re ready to do that is not for anyone else to determine.

      But even with all of that, I still understand the author’s point of view. Marriage wouldn’t make her happy right now, even though it’s made both of us very happy! I can’t fault someone else for not finding fulfillment in the same way I have. The whole attitude and paradigm shift in thinking about marriage and having a family is what really bothers me, I think.

      You’re awesome, LaVerne. I miss you!

  2. I love this. I sometimes feel like maybe I’m stuck, or that I made the wrong choice having a child so young, especially when I see my single friends off on amazing adventures. I begin to feel sorry for myself, and say “it’s high time I be selfish and do that too!” Then I look around me, and see how everything I have is wonderful. I am on an amazing adventure already! There’s nothing more fascinating or more fulfilling than raising another human being, watching them learn and discover the world around them. In fact, today I had a conversation with one of my single friends similar to this topic, and she said she would give anything to have the life I have, and how she says she likes being single but she would gladly give it up to have a husband and child.

    I also think people have the wrong idea of what you can do when you have children. You can still travel, try new things, do interesting activities. Joel has been on a TV show AND been to Russia, all while being a father! The only limit people have when they have kids/get married are the limits they put on themselves.

  3. Pingback: Day Seven. | Waffles&Cereal 365 | 2014

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