Well, today was one of THOSE days.
My darling daughter refused to nap at the usual time today, even though she was clearly exhausted. She’d fall asleep for a few minutes after nursing, and then wake up and play in her crib. Over a period of two hours, I checked on her three times and changed her diaper and her clothes once. Still no sleep, but she was playing happily by herself, so I decided to eat lunch and shower in peace.
When I went to check on her again, there was poop everywhere. On her face, in her fingernails, smeared into her clothes, all over her crib, and even on the wall. She was chewing on her hand. It was stinky. It could have been worse…but it was still STRAIGHT NASTY. (I took a picture, but don’t worry I won’t show you. It was mostly for posterity and for whining to my husband.)
It didn’t help that I had encountered this same scene a mere three days ago. Only then, my husband was home and helped me manage the situation, and Daisy hadn’t been quite as artistic with her excrement in the previous situation.
The next hour was kind of ridiculous, but somehow I managed to hold it all together and even get the cranky child down for a nap in a nice, clean bed.
As I was nursing her to sleep, I could not WAIT to put her down and go take a nap myself or eat a bag of chocolate chips or something. But, as soon as she fell asleep on me…I couldn’t let her go. I was overcome with the enormous amount of love I have for this little girl, and how incredible she is. I just kept rocking, and rocking, and rocking….When I gently laid her down after a while, it almost broke my heart.
Things didn’t get much easier after she woke up, but I haven’t felt this enamored with my little girl since she was teeny tiny. It’s been choking me up all evening.
Daisy is quite an independent little thing. She hasn’t ever had separation anxiety and she doesn’t “need” me very much – even after she takes a spill, it just makes her angrier when I try to snuggle her and kiss it better. So I think I forget how much she really does depend on me, and how much I depend on her. She’s the reason for everything that I do.
In a weird way, today was exactly what I needed. It was a hard day, and I could feel that I had the help of angels and answers to prayers for peace. And thanks to that help and those prayers, today was able to remind me exactly how much I love this little stinker. It reminded me why I’m doing this whole Mom thing, and why I love it. It could have been a total disaster – and maybe some would still consider it a disastrous day if they saw the state my house is currently in – but it wasn’t.
I love my baby, and I can’t wait to have a bazillion more just like her.
But I really, truly hope that the poop obsession ends soon — or at least that sensory play helps fulfill that desire in a more sanitary manner! Haha.